Make ‘Em Laugh


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Not too often, but every now and then I come across some really great jokes. Clean jokes that I’m not embarrassed to admit I laughed at. This is the place for laughing at the same things I find funny.

Dinner Party

During a dinner party, the host’s two little children entered the dining room totally nude and walked slowly around the table. The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was happening and kept the conversation going. The guests cooperated and also continued as if nothing strange was happening. After going all the way around the room, the children left, and there was a moment of silence at the table, during which one child was heard to say, “You see, this IS vanishing cream!”

Give it a vote if you liked the joke. Thanks!

Sex In The Dark

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love, the husband always insisted on shutting off the light. Well, after 20 years of marriage the wife felt this was ridiculous.

She figured she would break him of this habit so one night, while they were in the throws of a wild, love making session, she turned on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated device… A vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than his real one.

She went completely ballistic. “You impotent fool,” She yelled at him, “How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself”!

The husband pulled out the vibrator, looked her straight in the eyes and said in a calm voice, “I’ll explain the toy when you explain the kids.”

Give it a vote if you liked the joke. Thanks!

Restaurant

I wish someone would open a restaurant and call it “I Don’t Care”, so I can finally take my girl where she always wants to go!

Give it a vote if you liked the joke. Thanks!

RSVP

There is a support group being organized this weekend for men who can’t ejaculate during intercourse. Please RSVP and let us know if you can’t come.

Give it a vote if you liked the joke. Thanks!

Humanity

A little girl came to her father and said: “Daddy, where do humans come from?”
Dad answers: “Well, God created Adam and Eve.  They had babies and we all came from them.”
A few days later, the little girl asks her mother the same question.
Mother answers: “Well, we evolved from monkeys over time.”
The little girl was furious and went to her father and said: “Mommy said we came from monkeys but you told me we came from Adam and Eve.”
Daddy smiled and answered: “That’s right.  I told you about my side of the family, and mommy told you about hers.”

Give it a vote if you liked the joke. Thanks!

Good vs. Evil

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering.

Finally God said, “Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job.”

So, Satan and Jesus sat at the keyboards and typed away. They moused, They did spreadsheets, They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent e-mail, They sent out e-mail with attachments.

They downloaded, They did some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job.

But ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured and, of course, the electricity went off.

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed.

The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming “It’s gone! It’s all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!”

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours. Satan observed this and became irate. “Wait! He cheated, how did he do it?”

God shrugged and said, “Jesus saves.”

Give it a vote if you liked the joke. Thanks!

.

During a dinner party, the host's two little children entered 
the dining room totally nude and walked slowly around the table. 
The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was 
happening and kept the conversation going. The guests cooperated 
and also continued as if nothing strange was happening.
  After going all the way around the room, the children left, and 
there was a moment of silence at the table, during which one child
was heard to say, "You see, it IS vanishing cream!"
  1. #1 by WordsFallFromMyEyes on June 19, 2013 - 7:28 AM

    These are great! Ha ha Jesus saves!!! :)

  2. #2 by Amor24 on January 2, 2012 - 11:09 PM

    Very funny. “Jesus saves” … classic!! LOL

    • #3 by Tom Baker on January 4, 2012 - 3:28 PM

      It’s an oldie but goodie!

  3. #4 by Marissa Hill on December 17, 2011 - 3:47 PM

    The first joke gave me a great laugh, and the last one was pretty good, too. A day without laughter is a day wasted, so thank you for not letting me waste my day haha

    • #5 by Tom Baker on December 18, 2011 - 4:45 AM

      Marissa, happy I could play a part in putting a smile on your face and thanks for dropping in.

  4. #6 by msjfreckles on November 25, 2011 - 8:50 AM

    I like the last one! Awesome.:)

    • #7 by Tom Baker on November 25, 2011 - 9:03 AM

      That is a great one. I had to reread it because it has been a while since I was on this page. It made me smile again!

  5. #8 by Ms. Me on October 11, 2011 - 2:24 PM

    Lmbooo! I loved all of them!

    • #9 by Tom Baker on October 11, 2011 - 3:04 PM

      I’m glad you like them. Seems to be one of the most visited pages here.

      • #10 by Ms Me on October 12, 2011 - 10:01 PM

        I think everyone likes to laugh, but I’ve read a couple of your other post and those were pretty darn interesting too and I laughed at some of those too.

        • #11 by Tom Baker on October 13, 2011 - 2:52 AM

          I can’t imagine something I said was funny on purpose.

          • #12 by Ms Me on October 13, 2011 - 12:14 PM

            Oh no it was not funny on purpose, it was your first couple of posts. Though inappropriate to some, for some reason I find those types of stories amusing yet I still shake my head. I just giggled to myself thinking wow, poor guy but then again maybe not poor guy because I’m sure that would have made any males teen years the ride of their life. I just always find it interesting to hear/read men tell about that portion of themselves it’s like an inside look on the male mind. Which of course is a change because all I know is what goes on inside my own female brain. As a matter of fact when I was dating my children’s father he used to tell me about his past “sexcapades” and I’d sit back and laugh and shake my head in disbelief. I don’t know if that’s normal though? Oh well.

          • #13 by Tom Baker on October 13, 2011 - 9:22 PM

            Very much inappropriate! If it weren’t for those escapades I would have been nothing more than a teen couch potato. I learned a lot from those years and I learned that there is so much to inner beauty than the gift of outward beauty. Outward beauty is a gift from God but true inner beauty is the gift you can give others. I wouldn’t change my past but I do feel bad for my sister’s friends who I took advantage of. Thanks for not judging!

          • #14 by Ms. Me on October 14, 2011 - 10:19 AM

            Yeah, the good thing is you learned. Not everybody has the same experiences and not everyone has the same weaknesses or flaws but we all have areas we can improve in or areas we need help in. But that’s no reason for anyone to be treated less than human.

  6. #15 by janieblim on September 29, 2011 - 8:00 AM

    I thought all of them were funny. haha But the boyfriend in the restaurant joke might be on to something. Someone should open a restaurant named “anywhere” or “I don’t know”.

    • #16 by Tom Baker on October 2, 2011 - 10:35 AM

      The restaurant joke is funny because it is very true. I have another joke up today called Stalker.

  7. #17 by Gregorovius on June 8, 2011 - 6:51 PM

    Just the blog name and description in Gravatar, seen at World IPv6 Day in WordPress.com blog, got me laugh a lot!
    And I find the content very interesting
    Bookmarked!

  8. #18 by thoughtsofafatgirl on June 3, 2011 - 4:33 AM

    I’m sure you hear this all the time but love the blog! :)

    • #19 by Tom Baker on June 3, 2011 - 9:21 PM

      Thank you so very much and just between the two of us. Shh! Don’t tell anyone… I don’t get tired of hearing it and again thanks.

  9. #20 by Shawna on May 19, 2011 - 11:42 AM

    These are great! PLEASE keep it up!

    • #21 by Tom Baker on May 20, 2011 - 8:27 AM

      I will try! It’s not easy finding things to keep my readers entertained.

  10. #22 by Sausagefingers on February 11, 2011 - 10:21 PM

    I like the humanity the most!!!! Good Job… Keep It Up!

    • #23 by Tom Baker on February 12, 2011 - 9:51 AM

      I hope it made you laugh! Thanks for coming by again.

  11. #24 by Mary Joy Antonio on January 14, 2011 - 5:09 AM

    I like Humanity and Good vs. Evil :)

    • #25 by Tom Baker on January 15, 2011 - 9:06 AM

      Thanks for coming by. I appreciate the comment too.

  12. #26 by classyrose on January 12, 2011 - 10:00 AM

    I like both Sex in the Dark and Humanity. Can’t decide between the two.
    Just found your site today and I am enjoying the visit. Will definitely be back.

    • #27 by Tom Baker on January 12, 2011 - 10:59 AM

      Thank you ClassyRose. I visited your site too before replying to this comment. Very interesting posts. I will return to comment. I appreciate your visit.

  13. #28 by dimetri on January 4, 2011 - 10:10 AM

    Tom, I would love to be featured in June. Please feel free to use this poem, “Am I Worth It?” I consider it an honor.

  14. #29 by dimetri on January 4, 2011 - 9:13 AM

    Hey, Tom! It’s Dimetri from “I Know My Worth” blog. Love your site. You have so much to offer.

    • #30 by Tom Baker on January 4, 2011 - 9:48 AM

      Thank you Dimetri. I’m glad you like the site and even happier you will let me feature one of your poems.

  15. #31 by Jia on October 12, 2010 - 11:17 AM

    thanks for the jokes! it made my day :)

    • #32 by Tom Baker on October 13, 2010 - 11:51 AM

      You are very welcome Jia my friend.

  16. #33 by Kudi Punjaban on September 25, 2010 - 10:46 PM

    Lol at the first one!

    • #34 by Tom Baker on September 26, 2010 - 10:52 AM

      Thanks for visiting Kudi. I hope it made you smile.

  17. #35 by Lee on September 2, 2010 - 12:26 PM

    They’re all good but I really like the second one.

    • #36 by Tom Baker on September 2, 2010 - 1:29 PM

      A lot of people love #2. Thanks for commenting. Hope you enjoyed your stay.

  18. #37 by Shafeeque on August 27, 2010 - 4:01 PM

    LMBO!! The second one was superb!!

  19. #38 by vee15 on July 22, 2010 - 11:24 AM

    LMBO. “I’ll explain the toys, you explain the kids!” LOL too funny.

  20. #39 by Paxi on April 3, 2010 - 9:51 AM

    That restaurant should open nearby my place, too. There are a lot of girls that want to go there, don’t know why… ;)

  21. #40 by Jaclyn on January 12, 2010 - 5:20 PM

    funny! actually.. smart husband. lol..

    • #41 by Vanessa on May 29, 2011 - 7:20 PM

      I have been reading many of your posts and it’s pretty funny stuff. Love this one especially.

  22. #42 by yiN on January 1, 2010 - 5:09 PM

    Hahaha that stupid dumb husband wahaha..

  1. Restaurant « Paxi

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