Guest Blogger, Blaga Todorova

Introducing Blaga Todorova from Scent Of My Heart

Join me please in welcoming Blaga Todorova, to Morning Erection as my very first guest blogger who asked me if she could guest post. This means I didn’t have to pester her until she broke down and agreed to post. Actually each of my guest bloggers was more than happy to guest blog for me when I asked. I hope you enjoy Blaga’s post as much as I did. Remember her guest post here is a sacrifice because it means she’s neglecting her own blog and spent time thinking of this great post for us. As always, it is a great honor for me to be able to have a guest blogger. As a favor to me please show Blaga the courtesy of leaving lots of comments and visit her site too. Thanks.


Blogging, sharing posts, subscriptions to comment feed, beta sites, dashboards… this is all so new to me and even though I have no problem to learn quickly about anything, I had to first ask various silly questions, or to Google certain terminology in order to start “Scent of my heart”! We might live in a century surrounded by very advanced technology and we might all have some computer education, but I am somehow not meant for a computer genius!

It was a big and a pleasant surprise, when on the second day of my blog’s opening (if I can say it that way), someone under the name Tom Baker commented on my post that he had to run to get his wife to read my poem and they both liked it very much! I must say, I was a bit puzzled by the name of the blog “Morning Erection” and before to answer back to Tom, I looked at few of his posts (sorry about that Tom). After reading his “The Most Beautiful Girl in the World”‘s post I decided that I like him, despite the fact he was a total stranger, I liked his soul! And this is how I met Tom and how now I am a guest here! I am really honored and grateful for this! Thank you Tom!

Why do I write poems? My friends say it’s because I have a way with words. My ex-boyfriend told me once it’s because I am the devil, dressed in the skin of a simple girl, but gifted with the language of sweet poison. Well, maybe…, but I see it in a different way! It’s because of the butterflies!!! All these years, apart from being a good enough daughter and good enough friend, everything else was either “almost there” or “way too much”, but never fit enough to have this first place we all dream about, the first place that brings butterflies in your stomach and makes you feel like flying!

At school I had to stick to opinions different than mine, because I’d look rather out of line, not enough patriotic towards the Bulgarian literature and history. In university I had to cut my energy and passion for life, because I’d be way too open-minded and free for the environment of electronic engineers. For the one I was in love with-I was too emotional, for the one that I didn’t have Cupid’s arrow in my heart-I was too cold. Sometimes I’d be too honest, sometimes not enough. One day-way too smart for someone to deal with me and the next morning-not enough clever to keep his/her/their attention. I’ve been almost beautiful, almost ugly, almost loved, almost hated… almost of  everything, but never perfect for something!

It’s like winning second place in a beauty pageant, or poetry contest, or any game! You know you have the data to place you in between the best of participants, but you don’t have that little detail to take you to the triumph! But when I write, I feel that I have that first place, I feel the butterflies! I can be sensitive or jealous, happy or frustrated and it’s always the perfect amount of it! I can be kissed and kiss back without to hold half the passion inside of me! I can cry and scream and it won’t look like an overreaction! I can be the queen of someone’s heart, or the poor girl selling matches… it doesn’t matter, it matters that whatever I’m going to be, it will be covered in the perfect amount of beautiful words and feelings!

And here is where I want to quote the speech of an overweight opera-singer guy from one of Grey’s Anatomy’s episodes, after the doctors told him there is a possibility of removing all or part of his lung and therefore he won’t be able to sing anymore. He says:

“I’m big. Too big. I don’t fit in airplane seats. And, as Jeff is always telling me, my feelings don’t always fit the situation. If my food is overcooked in a restaurant, I get enraged. I want to kill the waiter. But I don’t. I politely ask him to take my meal back and bring it to me the way I asked for it. I spend my days making myself smaller. Acceptable. And that’s okay. Because at night, when I go onstage, I get to experience the world the way I feel it. With indescribable rage and unbearable sadness and huge passion. At night, onstage, I get to kill the waiter and dance on his grave. And if I can’t do that, if all I have left is a life of making myself smaller, then I don’t want to live.”

Before start to write I was spending my days getting used to be fit in the life of “almost”. Writing is my stage where I get to kill all unpleasant moments of “not enough” or “way too much”, where I get to feel the way I want to feel!

How about you? Have you found your stage? Have you found this thing that will keep you always in bright and happy place?

Image by Guj Tungpalan

BUTTERFLIES

Butterflies… I was dreaming about butterflies!
I wanted so bad their bright colors to wake me up,
to show me where life really is!
I wanted the sound of their tiny wings moving,
to sing to me ,to tell me story of love, love… endless love!
I’ve forgotten what is to think about the amount of air you breathe in,
what is to wonder when the storm in your stomach
will calm at least for a second,
what is to wish “Dreamland” to find you and all ahead that you see …
Angel… mirage at first… illusion… coming so near to realize that it’s true!
The thought of him, the idea of having everything, anything,
after his lips mark your existence with the softest touch,
after his hands set fire in you even if outside is wild winter!
I was dreaming of the chaotic intruders and the meaning of their coming!
And now that they are here…
Now that I have them turning my little heart up-side-down …
I welcome them with wide open hug,
saying in between deep breaths, in between nausea and uncontrollable smiles ….
Please don’t ever leave again …

, , , , , ,

  1. #1 by dan on October 13, 2010 - 2:29 PM

    Almost, almost, almost! I’ve had a lot of occupations, a lot of hobbies, and a lot of love. I was almost good in each and every one of them. In sports I was almost fast enough, tall enough, big enough, and talented enough to go to another level. Almost. In love, I had the perfect love several times. Almost. Finally I came to the realization that my best was good enough for me and the opinions of others didn’t count. I can almost believe that. In writing, however, some people liked what I did. That was enough to keep me going. I’m glad that you are still writing beautiful poetry for you have much to offer. Thanks for your butterflies. Just like you, they also bring color into the world.

    • #2 by Scent of my heart on October 13, 2010 - 4:52 PM

      It’s so nice that you’ve read it! I appreciate the comment and the support! Butterflies are good thing … Thank you Dan!

  2. #3 by phil trotter on October 4, 2010 - 12:02 PM

    this was amazing blaga……you have a gift and i love seeing you use it……i can definitely relate to the sentiment of not quite fitting in or not quite being “there”….once again you are an amazing woman…

    • #4 by Scent of my heart on October 4, 2010 - 12:09 PM

      Thank you Phil! It’s nice to see you’ve read it!

  3. #5 by Just Veli on October 4, 2010 - 6:54 AM

    Five stars from me, especially to Blaga. A true Talent and Gift from God, in more ways than one. Look forward to being able to buy your book in the near future. :) xx

    • #6 by Scent of my heart on October 4, 2010 - 8:12 AM

      My dear Veli! Thanks a lot! As usual I love your support!

  4. #7 by Iron Cook Carl on October 3, 2010 - 12:10 PM

    Tom is nice like that but he’s never asked me to do a guest appearance! Seriously, I like this post. Lots of people are forced to stifle themself and their growth because of the people in their life. It’s nice to be able to break free of the chrysalis and transform into something new and more beautiful. Your poetry is very nice. Keep it up!

    • #8 by Scent of my heart on October 4, 2010 - 8:11 AM

      Thank you Iron Cook Carl! I appreciate the support from all that read my post!

  5. #9 by Tom Baker on October 3, 2010 - 1:24 AM

    Thank you Blaga! Writing poetry is something you love doing and I hope you continue to write and I would love to see your work published and sitting on my coffee table! It was a pleasure to have you guest blog for me. I have been very fortunate, like Min said to have the best guest bloggers!

    • #10 by Scent of my heart on October 4, 2010 - 8:10 AM

      The pleasure was mine Tom! It meant a lot to me ! Sorry for the late reply I was on a place with no internet!

  6. #11 by Beth on October 2, 2010 - 8:05 PM

    Great post. I didn’t realize people let other people write on their blogs. The poem is lovely.

    • #12 by Scent of my heart on October 4, 2010 - 8:09 AM

      Thank you Beth!

  7. #13 by Rose on October 2, 2010 - 3:06 PM

    Great guest post Blaga. I think you will open quite a few eyes with this. I never watch Grey’s Anatomy however I can relate to people like that you described. For some reason I meet the people who act out on their feelings. I meet the immature ones who think like the guy from Grey’s Anatomy and also act on them. We all can be butterflies.

    • #14 by Scent of my heart on October 4, 2010 - 8:08 AM

      Thanks Rose for leaving a comment …and yes you are right, we can all feel like butterflies.

  8. #15 by Min on October 2, 2010 - 2:41 PM

    Awesome words and very inspiring. I have been through all the guest posts today and I think Tom has great luck in finding the best people. I am inspired even more after reading all the guest posts. I haven’t found a great talent yet, but thanks to reading this, I know that I will.

    • #16 by Scent of my heart on October 4, 2010 - 8:07 AM

      Thank you for readin my post and thanks for the nice comment! We all have a talent inside of us …and it doesn’t need to be great ..just something to make you feel beautiful!

  9. #17 by Rumyana Krasteva on October 2, 2010 - 1:11 PM

    Be always on the way you want to feel, feel always that incredible feeling having in you Butterflies!
    In between my stage and all the things keep me in bright and happy place, I found this one- great pleasure reading your poems! It fits me “on the right point”every time and fill me with so big inspiration. Great talent Buggi! Thank you for sharing with us your” butterflies”!!!!

    • #18 by Scent of my heart on October 4, 2010 - 8:05 AM

      Rumi love you lot’s Thanks for all your support!

  10. #19 by Cherlyn on October 2, 2010 - 7:38 AM

    Wow! This was a great post Blaga :) I can totally relate to it, especially the part where you said “I’ve been almost beautiful, almost ugly, almost loved, almost hated… almost of everything, but never perfect for something!”. This is a really uplifting post about finding happiness and being true to your self – I think we’re all looking for our spotlight on the stage, and I’m really happy you’ve found yours :) As always the poem is beautiful, you have a great way with words. Great job!!

    • #20 by Scent of my heart on October 4, 2010 - 8:04 AM

      I’m sorry for the late reply but I was on a place with no internet :) Thank you Cherlyn your words mean a lot to me !

  11. #21 by Blaga on October 2, 2010 - 4:48 AM

    Thank you Tom!

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