Funny

Q U O T E S

“Personally I stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.”
~George Burns

J O K E S

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: “For Women Only.” Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. “We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It’s easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what’s inside.”

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: “All the men on this floor are short and plain.” The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: “All the men here are short and handsome.” Still, this isn’t good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: “All the men here are tall and plain.”

They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: “All the men here are tall and handsome.” The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

There they find a sign that reads: “There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman.”

P H O T O S

Which Way?

Peeping Tom

Horsing Around

SpongeVenus NudiePants

Extreme Customer Service

S T O R Y

A True Story

At Harvard University in a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A female freshman raised her hand and asked, “If I understand what you are saying, there is a lot of glucose in male semen, as in sugar”? That’s correct,  responded the professor, going on to add more statistical data. Raising her hand again, the sweet young thing asked, “Then why doesn’t it taste sweet?”. After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing; the poor girl turned bright red and as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books without a word and walked out of the class, and never returned.

As she was going out of the door, the professor’s reply was a classic. Totally straight-faced, he answered her question, “It doesn’t taste sweet because the taste buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not on the back of your throat”!

“Personally I stay away from natural foods. At my age I need all the preservatives I can get.”

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  1. #1 by Cherlyn on October 14, 2010 - 1:49 PM

    Hahah nice post! I needed a laugh today :D Thanks!

  2. #2 by Jia on October 13, 2010 - 2:43 AM

    oops :X the last one was quite funny :D thanks for the jokes!

    • #3 by Tom Baker on October 13, 2010 - 11:50 AM

      Your welcome Jia. I’m glad you liked them.

  3. #4 by Scent of my heart on October 13, 2010 - 12:07 AM

    You made me laugh early in the morning! I like “This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman.” :) Have a good night, Tom!

    • #5 by Tom Baker on October 13, 2010 - 11:50 AM

      I thought you might like that one!

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