An Email I Received

A few weeks ago, February 4th to be exact, I received an email from a subscriber to Morning Erection. This person is not a WordPress blogger (to my knowledge) because she subscribed with her email address and not her WordPress account. I thought that there may be a few people out there who might feel the same way she does. For that reason I am posting her email here.

I am not going to respond to her email. I am not replying to the email and I am not addressing what she wrote here either. I want you, anyone who reads Morning Erection to respond to her concerns. After I read your responses, I will respond to her email by either changing the way I blog or not changing the way I blog. I have a very intelligent wife and it was her suggestion that my readers and not me, address what the emailer wrote.

She is no longer subscribed and she has been an on and off again subscriber. I hope she comes back to read this. I don’t take her email lightly because even though this is my blog I do want to ‘please’ those people who take time out of their very busy and stressful lives to drop in to read the craziness that spews forth from my mind. What I will say to the young lady who wrote me that the upcoming 31 Days of Blogging Honesty in May might shed some light on the inner workings of my mind and perhaps why I do and write some of the things I do. Inadvertently I think I revealed more than I ever have about myself in those 31 posts.

Please, as the owner of this blog, I beg of you to take the time once again to leave a comment for me to read. This might be the most important comment you leave here. I need your help to give me direction. It might be that I have to stop posting on my blog anyway, in which case this email won’t matter. It also might lead me to delete a few of the posts or some of the content if I keep the blog going. I copied and pasted from my email and left the misspelled words but I did remove two paragraphs. Removing them did not take away from the gist of the email.

Dear Tom Baker,

Before I get into why I am writing, I first wanted to let you know I really love your blog as a whole. I believe I have read every post you have written but not in order. I don’t think I came upon your blog until early 2010. We have alot in common, especially loving Prince’s music.

I have recommended a few more than a few of your posts to friends and family and even my English teacher. I have shared on Facebook photos and posts. You have great insight into the human psyche, especially females (who make up the majority of the people who comment), you seem very compassionate and empathetic, and you have what appears to be many friends and a loving marriage…

… It is not my intentions to belittle you or point my finger at you for something that at its very base is none of my business. Like I said, I enjoy your blog and each post leaves me wondering what you will come up next. Then like a ton of bricks you ruin it for me. I don’t understand why you feel the need to include sex or nudity into your posts. I don’t care for that and I know by visiting some of the bloggers who have poetry on Poetic License that they are minors like myself.

Nudity involving women is degrading to me and I understand in the month of April you intend to post explicit images of naked men just because a few female readers want to see it. What about those who don’t or feel you are lowering your standards in doing so? You have warned your visitors before what you call not safe for work posts come out, but I really think your site is too classy for such cheap posts.

You have female genitals and SpongeBob SquarePants in the same wallpaper post. I know you care about children and if you had kids you wouldn’t want them visiting your site on certain days would you? You also stated that you are searching for God in your life. What is happening on that front?

I don’t think your first three posts are true. They read like you made them up and I would hate to think your whole blog is based on a lie. I also think the ndue dinner party was tasteless. It’s easy to say younger visitors should not click on your site but some of the things you have on your site would interest them – as one of my female cousins told me after searching for pictures of naked men when she was  finished reading one of your posts I recommended. She intends to be here in April to see those erections you promised. She’s 15.

Despite my criticisms it was your Most Beautiful Girl post that dragged me out of the lie that I was living for so long. After reading your post, I took stock of my life and realized I am worthy. I am worthy of friends, of love and a positive view of my self esteem. No one has ever opened my eyes like your post did and it has left a huge lasting inpression. I want to read your blog no matter how old I am and I want to do so without wondering if opening up your site will cause problems between me and my parents, friends or teachers. I want to be able to read without looking over my shoulders – without a post title that would embarrass me – without a huge penis on the screen – without a link to download some sex story your concocted. I think you are better than that and so is your blog.

Love & Peace,
A Former Subscriber

P.S.

Tom, I wanted to express my feelings but I didn’t want to do it on your site and perhaps embarrass you. I hope you take what I wrote with the love I took in writing this and not as if I am mad in any way. I don’t know you but I do know what you did for me and I consider you my far away friend. Thanks.

She’s deep! Thanks guys for taking the time to read this and commenting. Have a great week all.

, ,

  1. #1 by Tom Baker on April 23, 2011 - 4:50 PM

    I just want to take the time to thank everyone who posted comments. I received another email from the young lady and I will post that in the near future. I appreciate all the advice and have taken it all into consideration. You will be fascinated by what she wrote!

  2. #2 by Poala on April 7, 2011 - 11:08 PM

    I for one am looking forward for the pics and like most everyone else has stated – this is your blog. Put up your usual warning and let it flow! We ladies are looking forward to some skin.

  3. #3 by Chris on March 3, 2011 - 5:52 PM

    Tom, I wanted to stop and think a bit before commenting. I’ll be honest when I first saw your comment on my blog and that your URL was morningerection.wordpress.com I was unsure whether you were real or a spammer. However, your insightful comment was much smarter than any spambot so I decided to check out your site. I was glad to have done so. You cover a variety of topics and to be fair not all of them are of interest to me. but on whole I enjoy my experience on your blog.

    You have found a unique style that mixes the serious with the highly creative and insightful style I associate with you. I really hope that you don’t change your style its what makes you unique in this world of so many bloggers.

  4. #4 by Melanie T on March 3, 2011 - 12:31 AM

    Tom, my apologies for being a horrible blog reader of your posts at the moment. I love your blog. Some of your posts I don’t read because of the title post or what’s contained in them. I will admit I had a bit of a trouble of getting into your blog… the word erection just doesn’t have good connotation. I finally got to read what your blog was about and found it be “bad connotation” free.

    This is YOUR blog. As a previous comment-or stated…if you feel like you need to change it then do so but if you don’t, DON’T. Who are you blogging for? Certain readers or are you blogging for yourself as a hobby?

    I understand her being a minor and it was a very respectful and polite email but as a minor she should realize this is the world wide web where anyone and everyone is entitled to their own thoughts, ideas and convictions. If hers and yours clash too much then its time for her to find another blog.

    I hope my 2 cents helped.

  5. #5 by The Reason You Come on March 2, 2011 - 10:04 AM

    Hi, Tom! Honestly, I don’t think it’s anyone else’s business what you post on your blog. I, as a reader, appreciate that you are concerned about what we want or do not want to see here. I understand that you, of course, don’t want to lose readers. But at the same time, you shouldn’t let her – let us – dictate what you should post on your own site. The minor who sent you the email has a choice. If she doesn’t like this blog’s content, then she shouldn’t be here. You didn’t hold a gun to her head, did you? It was her choice to keep checking out this site. What’s a minor doing on something called Morning Erection anyway? If anything that’s even remotely sexual offends her, then she shouldn’t have even started hanging out at a blog that has “Erection” in its title.

    To tell you the truth, I was more than a little surprised that people still find nudity offensive. I mean, really? In this day and age? The eroticism in Morning Erection is actually very mild, so I don’t get what the fuss is all about.

    Don’t stop blogging. Post whatever you want to post, as long as it doesn’t violate WordPress’ Terms of Service.

  6. #6 by shumpy on February 25, 2011 - 12:51 PM

    Hey – you know I’m a newbie and as such have no place saying anything but don’t stop blogging! If you read her email and feel you’re due for a change, then make it. If you don’t, then some people just may not come back here. I respect people’s individuality and as such I am loathe to give an opinion. However, I must say that although your blog is listed in my blogroll, I don’t list it by the title, but rather your name…

  7. #7 by southwindtrails on February 21, 2011 - 6:22 PM

    Though I think this reader has some good points and she chose to express them in a very polite way I can’t help but think that it’s probably best that she un-subscribed to your blog. If you write about a topic that I don’t find interesting be it sex or potatoes I just choose not to read it. You always mark your posts that aren’t age appropriate for younger readers and give warning (these could be posted larger, but at least they are there) If she is made uncomfertable by your posts then I think she made a good decision.

    You can’t choose your readers. You can warn them all you want but if a young person wants to see nude photos or read about sex they will find it on the internet with or without you. Somone who is not interested will read your warnings and leave the site. All wordpress blogs have a rating system for content in the settings menu so if that is set correctly people should be aware before even clicking on your post that it could contain adult content.

    In the end I think you should write what makes you happy, whatever inspires you. If you choose to remove past posts or change your future content then that is your choice, and one that should be made because you want to not because someone else thinks you should. I will continue to read you blog as long as you are able to keep writing it.

  8. #8 by Chloe on February 21, 2011 - 5:19 PM

    I remember when I initially saw your blog name on the web, I avoided it like the plague, simply because of the connotations the name obviously gives. Eventually, I saw enough of your comments on mutual friend’s blogs, that I overcame my concern. Like every other blog I visit, I only read a post if it interests me or if I have the time – however, if I read anything that suggested nudity, sex, or pornography, I would NOT be reading it – in fact, I would probably unsubscribe too.

    I have not extensively read your posts, but the few that I have, have not contained any of these things and, as such, I will keep on being a subscriber as I really enjoy the things that you write about and your writing :D I like to form my own opinion and not base it on what other people think. I guess you have to decide at the outset what you are striving to achieve with your blog (and I’m just saying this out loud, as you are a far more experienced blogger than I am), and not change the goal posts. For example, I write poetry, post a smattering of photos and have gained a small list of subscribers on that basis – if I were to suddenly post an article about engineering, I might confuse my readers. If I posted something that offended them, I imagine I would lose them too.

    So, I’m still here, but I do believe that the girl who emailed you has some very valid points. A friend of mine has two blogs – one for things he knows the general reader out there can read and another that contains his highly personal posts (in his case about the abuse he endured as a youngster) – perhaps that’s something you could consider, that way you would not run the risk of confusing/offending your readers?

    All the best xx

  9. #9 by Cherlyn on February 21, 2011 - 11:56 AM

    There are few posts that I do agree with, and can definitely relate to her on some level. The truth to the matter is, some people are uncomfortable with nudity on different levels, that’s just the way they are. I have my issues with nudity, but , the way I look at it, there isn’t necessarily something wrong with either. We have our hangups about everything, but ultimately, those hangups are our responsibility. Good for her for unsubscribing if she was uncomfortable. If something makes you uncomfortable, either confront it, or ignore it. And I really hope that one of the wallpaper post doesn’t contain both sexually themed erotica pictures as well as ones for children – that’s just tasteless and irresponsible on your part. However, from the posts that I have read, you have had warnings on the site beforehand. Overall, I don’t find your posts pornographic, however, some of them are very sexually themed. I find some sexuality uncomfortable, so I’ve just chosen to not read those posts, simple as that.

    But, if it were my blog, I probably would have less sexually themed posts. Maybe that’s just because it’s me. Other people seem to enjoy them more than myself (not htat I don’t like them, they’re just not my cup of tea). Maybe use more discretion, maybe have a larger warning. Is there a way you can make certain posts private to those who are underage? I’m not sure if that’s possible, but maybe it is. I think ultimately, you take the criticism as it is, keep it in the back of your mind, and maybe just use more discretion in the future. The only thing I’d recommend doing now is maybe double checking some of those posts, adding a larger warning, and maybe keeping the more explicit content away from content suitable for younger ages.

    Other than that, I have nothing else to say about it. Just do what I do: write for yourself and no one else. Sure, be mindful, but do what you want to do, because this isn’t for anyone else, it should be for you :). Best of luck to you!

  10. #10 by Kelly Hay on February 21, 2011 - 10:41 AM

    I hate to be a fence straddler here but I suppose there is some sort of balance to be had when blogging. On the one hand, if I knew I had regular readers that were minors, I might be a tad leary of posting *artistic* nude photos even if I thought they were done in extremely good tastes. On the other hand, personally speaking ~ I think the nude form is extremely beautiful and sensual … a work of art to be celebrated!

    It’s a tough call but ultimately it is YOUR blog and therefore your decision. Blogs are all about creative expression for the individual composing them, not for the reader who visits them. If said reader is offended by nude photos then perhaps she should not visit your blog on days when you post such … just like people who are offended by nude photos should not go out and buy Playboy.

  11. #11 by PrinceConnoisseur on February 21, 2011 - 7:50 AM

    I’ll be the first to admit that maybe my two cents mean nothing here considering the content of my sites – however! I have seen and read the posts the very articulate lady is referring to. I have noticed the warning signs the day before and the notices on the page pertaining to the content contained in the posts. I did not see the wallpaper post or I do not remember it, but if SpongeBob and naked women are on the same page you should remove one or both of the images, or just rearrange.

    Unless you and April are actively soliciting male models so you can provide new web content, I would surmise that any image you post on your blog is readily available on the internet and any 15 yr. old or 115 yr old who has access can and will find the content they are looking for. I know you like all the blog extras on the bottom of your blog and not on the side but perhaps you need to take a few lines from your About Page and inform people of the potential content on any given day.

    On Blogger a page comes up alerting visitors of potentially adult content contained on their blogs. Perhaps WordPress needs something similar. In any event the ‘undesirable’ content is so few and far between I wouldn’t worry. On the other hand, you seem to want to please your readers…

  12. #12 by kolembo on February 21, 2011 - 5:47 AM

    I didn’t see the posts! (he says, rummaging through the calender, trying to catch a glimpse of nudity…!)

    OhKay. I don’t know what to think about this one. On one hand, I don’t wanna be looking over my own shoulder as I post my life into cyberspace. On the other hand I am aware that what I post reflects on me.

    I have a hard time with…’…being expected to…’, always have.

    What was the nature of these posts? Where they just pictures that you thought were erotic, or were they pornographic?

    I don’t know how beneficial it is to be overly concerned with your readers. I think you have to be concerned with them, yes, but only to a certain extent.

    Otherwise, me thinks, we are just using blogs and blogging to exercise emotional baggage! Which, I confess, I do!

    But then, how much of the internet is real, how much of it affects you, how much do you invest in it?

    I love it when I read my comments, feel flashes of real anger sometimes, at thoughtless, hurtful people, feel electric when I make a great post. Yet…this lingering air of ‘clubbishness’ sometimes gets me.

    How often do I comment, just to get a response?

    Fishing for love, and I do, I admit, sometimes.

    The question I’d like to ask ‘this lady’, is what is SHE doing on the blog? As it is, and I’m smiling now, the title of your blog left me expecting more not less! Certainly, the title in an office space, or in front of children intrinsically necessitates explanation.

    The Communications department will read; accounts.com, personel department.com, jcpenny.com, NatGeo.com, NatWestAirlines.com, morningerection.wordpress.com…..like that.

    To be honest, what I’m getting is vasciliation on your part as to the intent of your blog and the service you intend it to provide, if any.

    Good thing with blogs is that YOU get to decide. Change it if you want. Wrestle with whether or not you are being honest with yourself if that’s what you do. Be wildly, imaginatively, fantastically dishonest even, I say, if that’s your thing.

    Just don’t stop blogging is what I hear the community you’re building saying to you. If you’re not having fun, rearrange the furniture.

    Right, I’ve gone on a bit because my own blog is boring my senseless at the moment, and I trying desperately, to hide from it.

    I’m off to make a peanut butter and banana sandwich, take a shower in my clothes and run around my garden naked, talking to my plants.

    Maybe that will help.

  13. #13 by Judy Marie Santiago on February 21, 2011 - 12:16 AM

    I do not say I completely agree with her, but I believe she has a point. Some people are that conservative that photos of nudity are not appreciated even if it’s for art’s sake. And yes, I understand why you put some of these touches to your blog, Tom. You’re just being imaginative, being a man, being yourself, and I guess she just made her point through an email. Just so you’ll know that there are people like her who are reading your blog. And I know your blog is that famous already, and perhaps you don’t want to be stereotyped as a porn blog or whatsoever if people happen to drop by and saw the nude pics. I think what I can only say to you is to be more careful on your next posts and be discreet if there’s a need for you to do so… Just to avoid further problems and issues relating to your wonderful blog. That’s it. I hope you got my point, Tom. :) We’re here for you!

  14. #14 by Scent of my heart on February 21, 2011 - 12:15 AM

    The lady has few points here, but after all it’s up to you how you feel about the content of your blog. Though the way she expressed her unhappiness it to be respected, she was polite and honest! With or without the “under age” content I’m still loving your blog. Best regards to you and April, and just to say I’d hate if I have to see you stop posting and blogging. I hope everything goes well for you and April in a way you two like to be!

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