Stalker

I have a stalker named Bill! You know who you are! I absolutely hate YOU! You keep hanging around my house despite my best efforts to be rid of you. I changed my habits and taken steps to alter my behavior but he keeps coming around – like clockwork. I think he likes me!

And sometimes I think I’m just about rid of him; but he keeps coming back. I think he must love me and that’s not good at all – besides the fact that I am married!

He comes in many forms…telephone bill, cable bill, electric bill & water bill, heating bill, and so on… If you drive by my house and see him feel free to shoot on site!

On second thought, I was told if you shoot Bill, his cousin Collector will start calling all the time. Calling me at home, on my job; and I was told he is twice as bad as Bill is.

Do you know Bill?

 

I have a guest blogger for this month! Amazing I know considering how this blog is or isn’t progressing. My guest will be Chris Ferrell. Chris was the original GB. He was the first guest blogger on Morning Erection and I am honored to have him make a second appearance. His first post was about Battlestar Galactica. This time the theme of his post is sports related. I hope you stop back on Saturday, October 8th to read his post. In the meantime, see what his site, Nerds of the Round Table is all about.

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  1. #1 by A Pakistani Boy on October 7, 2011 - 10:39 PM

    Hahaha! Amazing why i never found my stalker (maybe cuz i have too many others to worry about? just kidding)

    • #2 by Tom Baker on October 7, 2011 - 10:57 PM

      Give it time, he will find YOU.

  2. #3 by Broken Sparkles on October 7, 2011 - 4:36 AM

    Very smart :) Enjoyed!

    • #4 by Tom Baker on October 7, 2011 - 10:11 AM

      I’m glad you like it. It is very clever.

  3. #5 by janieblim on October 6, 2011 - 10:36 PM

    Haha! Funny post. Aside from bill, I also have landlady as a stalker. She’s not as persistent as bill though. She only comes every three months to get my payment for the rent.

    • #6 by Tom Baker on October 7, 2011 - 10:09 AM

      Landlord and landlady can be a pain too but they have to be taken care of sooner than Bill or else we might find ourselves out of a home!

  4. #7 by tekia on October 2, 2011 - 6:06 PM

    HAHAHAHAHA! This is such a clever post Tom! I loved it!

    • #8 by Tom Baker on October 4, 2011 - 7:32 AM

      I can’t take credit for it Te’Kia. I found it somewhere and liked it enough to post it..

  5. #9 by therealsharon on October 2, 2011 - 12:00 PM

    We have the same stalker! He is dreadful indeed!

    • #10 by Tom Baker on October 2, 2011 - 12:27 PM

      Hi Sharon! There’s no denying it.

  6. #11 by Rose Reynolds on October 2, 2011 - 10:10 AM

    I’m pretty sure everyone who reads your blog has the same stalker. ;/ I wasn’t sure what to make of your post until I saw it was a joke. Manyabsurdities was correct… Well played. James and I are thrilled you are posting. Just keep it up and I’m looking forward to Poetic License tomorrow.

    • #12 by Tom Baker on October 2, 2011 - 10:41 AM

      Poetic License is great this October. One of Cherlyn Cochrane’s poems is featured. I also need to get working on the Poetic License magazine. I should have been published in September. Life…

  7. #13 by Cherlyn on October 2, 2011 - 9:31 AM

    I got a stalker that is just as bad as Bill (though Bill does occasionally stop by) – my stalker’s name is Student Debt. It’s frightening.

    • #14 by Tom Baker on October 2, 2011 - 10:38 AM

      Thank God the police got a hold of Student Debt and apprehended him for me. Two or more stalkers at a time is mind numbing.

  8. #15 by manyabsurdities on October 2, 2011 - 12:46 AM

    Well played, Mr Baker. The snippet in my Gmail only said that you had a stalker and nothing else :P

    • #16 by Tom Baker on October 2, 2011 - 10:37 AM

      I was going for that effect! I appreciate you stopping by Veronica.

      • #17 by manyabsurdities on October 2, 2011 - 1:20 PM

        I always stop by! I just usually lurk. XD

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