A Seriously Personal Poll For Females; The Results

At the time of writing this post, 96 girls/women have taken this poll. It has been over a year since I put it on Mister Poll. The poll really means nothing in the grand scheme of things however after writing the The Most Beautiful Girl In The World post I got to wondering. A lot of females have low self esteem and I wanted to see if there were any commonalities. It didn’t take me long to figure out that I may have missed the mark big time with this poll.

I don’t really know what to do with the raw data and all the responses are intermingled. Regardless of not using the scientific method to compile and present sound information, I can give you the results. Interpret the results for yourself. I just want girls and boys, men and women to realize that despite situations and circumstances; despite what parents do or do not do, regardless of what they think they see when they look in the mirror; our young women of the world are worth more than gold and deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Our young men as well.

If you haven’t read The Most Beautiful Girl In The World, please do so. Warning, this is a long, long post. Not in words, but one long image.

A few of the questions required a written response so I picked a few that I found interesting to share with you. Some of the responses caused a physical pain in my chest. I could feel their pain as I read the answers. Some of the answers seem far fetched but when I compared these responses to their other responses, I concluded it might be genuine answers.

1. Finish this sentence. I would be much happier if _____?

a) Someone out there loved me for who I am, rather than what I could be if I lost a few pounds.
b) I could feel accepted.
c) I were a boy.
d) My mom was still alive.
e) My parents had not been killed.
f) I had never been sexually abused.
g) I was normal and skinny.

2. In response to the question, As a child were you ever touched inappropriately or molested by an older kid, teen or adult? I asked, Have you told anyone other than someone your same age?

a) A priest.
b) No, my mom told me that it would hurt our family and I need to forgive my brother because it is my fault for being a girl.
c) I am afraid bad things will happen if I do.
d) No I want to pretend it never happened,…….,EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
e) Yes the boy got put into jail as he was 18 (I was 12).
f) I really cannot tell anyone because it has been consensual between my younger brother and me. We talked about it ending when I leave for college.
g) No, I never did, and 6 of the 8 are dead now, haven’t seen the other two in years.

3. How do you feel when you see yourself naked?

a) I know I could lose about 20 lbs. and be happier with my appearance – but I think my curves are sexy and I’ve become very confident in my naked self.
b) I think I look sexy for my age.
c) I like the way I look.  I have a good figure and a pretty face that attracts attention where ever I go.
d) I’m a little heavy and have stretch marks, but overall good.
e)I generally like my nude body — and I think I am in good shape for my age — ah, but there’s the rub — I am no longer a teenager and haven’t been one for many years.
f) I try not to. I start wishing I had a better body but it doesn’t bother me that much.
g) Mad I let myself get like this.

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  1. #1 by Judy Marie Santiago on January 18, 2012 - 10:06 PM

    I wish I was able to answer the poll to make the respondents 97 in count but I was mentally answering the poll as I read through it and found myself part of the majority! And of course, it is personal so I’m not going to discuss those things that I said yes or no to. Very brave of you Tom to ask these questions, you’re a great researcher for one. Did you interpret the results of this is another post? Or you want to leave it raw like this? This survey helps a lot, but I’m shocked as well with the results. But anyway, thanks for this eye-opener. :) Missed writing in here.

    • #2 by Tom Baker on January 22, 2012 - 7:43 PM

      Judy, just because I have posted the results doesn’t mean you can’t still take the poll. I believe there are at least 103 people who have taken it now.

  2. #3 by knowmyworth on January 17, 2012 - 1:55 PM

    Wow, this is powerful. I am excited to see that you have many confident women in your pool of responses, even having been through tragic circumstances. I wonder about any self-report bias… would I like to think I am more confident than I am?

    • #4 by Tom Baker on January 22, 2012 - 7:42 PM

      Yes, some of the poll was uplifting and some, not so much.

  3. #5 by Iron Cook Carl on January 15, 2012 - 11:46 AM

    The results might not be there but I can see why some of the questions were asked. Good job.

  4. #6 by Rose Reynolds on January 15, 2012 - 8:47 AM

    Very sad. I think I remember reading somewhere that alot of molesters were themselves molested. It is not an excuse but a vicious cycle that needs to be broken. It reminds me of kids who witness their mother being abused yet they grow up to do the same thing when they have a girlfriend or wife. Sad isn’t it and the results are interesting Tom.

    • #7 by Tom Baker on January 15, 2012 - 10:25 AM

      I do believe you are right Rose. These boys (now men) are vilified as adults but what they needed as a child was psychiatric help and counseling. What surprised me the most is not everyone who was molested was molested by a man and there was a lot of brother – sister incest going on.

  5. #8 by Cherlyn on January 15, 2012 - 8:21 AM

    I was wondering when you were going to post the response for this up. It’s interesting to see the responses, and I still remember mine. The span of hurt goes deep doesnt it?

    I feel terrible for the women and girls who responded yes to being molested – any child molestation is sickening and physically makes me feel ill. Any one who does that to a child deserves worse than the death penalty, rather a long life full of pain. Sounds harsh, but so is what they do.

    Thank you for posting the responses Tom!

    • #9 by Tom Baker on January 15, 2012 - 10:22 AM

      Hi beautiful! Hope all is well with you and you are not working too hard these days. It was painful to read some of the write in responses and a few were funny. I have a post that I started writing a year ago that kind of deals with this subject matter but I just can’t seem to find a way to finish it. Maybe one day…

  6. #10 by mysterycoach on January 15, 2012 - 4:25 AM

    6 out of the 8 people who molested the one person? OMG … that’s horrible. You know, these things have been going on for years and these mindsets and the things people do and/or do not do and I’m surprised when I see other people be surprised by when it comes out in the open. Whatever “that” may be, it’s not that it’s never gone on, it’s just that it was never discussed.

    • #11 by Tom Baker on January 15, 2012 - 10:19 AM

      Mystery, six out of the eight sounds to me like it could be family members. All we can do is pray for these women and hope one day they can rise above their situations. Thanks for reading and commenting.

      • #12 by mysterycoach on January 15, 2012 - 10:43 AM

        You know, I there are so many women who have been molested by family members or friends of family etc., that it’s astounding. What bothers me about it is that when the kids tell, they’re minimized and not stuck up for by those they go to.

        :) Of course, I have had this experience myself. I told, my friends mom said it was my imagination. I was so angry at her for being such an a** and wearing such blinders. It wasn’t only the one time either, just different situations/people, three to be exact. I never thought it was my fault … EVER … it was THEM. I told 2 times, the third I didn’t tell anyone because no one did anything the first two times to confront these people. I find that to be despicable behavior for a teenager to go to someone who is supposed to believe them and trust them and for those adults to let them down in this way.

        My daughter had an older guy put his hand on her behind when she was 11/12 years old and her and two of her friends told. He was prosecuted and we were going to go to trial. I’ve always told her, I don’t care how it is or how long you know them, if you feel funny… you come to me and tell me. We will take care of it. We didn’t have to go to trial but he is now a registered child molester. Yup… I was going to put her on the stand, she did nothing wrong. HE DID and we had that conversation as well.

        She felt guilty initially, I asked her if when she did something wrong if she got into trouble and she said yes. I told her that this was no different. He did something wrong, he knew he shouldn’t have and he was now going to get into trouble. No one, deserves to have their personal space violated in this way and it’s not their fault. This is what they need to understand. I know… I make it sound so easy, but it was not their fault that someone took advantage of them in this way.

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