Archive for March 11th, 2012

Ashley Barela Asks Barbie, Where Are Your Nipples?

NSFW: Language

Ashley Barela asks:

What about your pubic hair, that beautiful bush? What about the follicles on your arms, your legs, your lower back like they were part of you? Do you ever have a pimple? Do you know what it’s like to feel menstrual pains? I’m sorry you’ve been stripped of all that is rightfully yours. Perhaps you’ll never know what you’re missing out on, for playing you for silly putty, you’re formed into an unrecognizable female in the boots (and high heels, and running shoes, and fashion feet) of pre-teen girls desperately trying to be women.

(If you were to speak, what would you say? Would you say something like, “I didn’t want it this way.” Would you cry out in pain or in sorrow, or grief? I’d like to know why you’re the victim of thieves.)

How many times have you been subjected to a new plastic surgeon? Do you even like to go to the beach? What about the market? Do you like carrying dogs around in little plastic purses? I wonder what your favourite (I mean, really, your favourite) place to eat would have been. I mean, you’re supposed to be me, aren’t you? Do you like the same bed sheets that I like? You’ve never touched a razor in your life and before I was old enough to have breasts like yours (minus the nipples of course), I had to learn how to shave my own legs. Barbie, you didn’t teach me about my vagina or masturbation. Your body showed no sign of a clit. What was that tiny pea-sized button of mine that I knew you didn’t have? Do you feel the same things as I do? Do you want to?

I know you want to. I’m sorry you’ve been stripped of all that is rightfully yours. I’m sorry you were based off of a German sex toy for men. I’m sorry your main owners are pre-teen girls looking to be as perfectly in proportion as you claim to be, when really, you’re anything but. I’m sorry, that before you became a goddess replacing original ideas, you were probably a someone just like me, with a bush and leg hair, a clit and a heart.

I know you’re begging for them and I promise, I will meet your maker and ask him why he didn’t give you nipples.

Repost with permission from December 12, 2011

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Morning Erection At A Glance

These are the regular features you will be able to read and see on Morning Erection. Interspersed among the regular features will be my regular run of the mill spasms from my imagination.

Morning Erection Times
ME Times allows for me to interview people that I find interesting. Actually it allows me to interview anyone. Everyone has a story to tell and I was inspired to start interviewing people from from the TBS Characters Showcase. Anybody and everybody is important enough to tell their story and everyone deserves their fifteen minutes of fame. Morning Erection Times will be alternating posts on the 15th of every month with a new segment I am starting called Bi-monthly Challenge.
See the first and only interview completed thus far.

A Month of Blogging Honesty
This is just the second year for Blogging Honesty. Last year we utilized the month of May and this year, April. One or more people come up with the total number of questions needed for the month and everyone who participates answers the questions as brutally honest as possible. It is not for the faint of heart or the timid because the questions might be tame but some of the answers can range from G to NC-17 and we all expect the truth from each other. If you don’t think you can tell the truth, you should not be a part of this.

This year is a little different in that there are 30 questions and one final dare at the end. It is nothing strange, infantile or illegal, but only meant for each person to get a little out of their comfort zone and have some fun. I have found from last year’s Honesty month that even the one’s not participating directly do enjoy reading the answers and getting to know other bloggers just a little better.

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