My Vagina Dialogue

I thought long and hard before deciding to go ahead with this post. Most of my followers are women. They follow because they must like in some way, what they read. All of the women who follow this blog have a vagina so I really shouldn’t be so worried about what people think. For those it offends, they might not read it, to those who read it, I hope you learn something.

This post is more a reaction from me to a subject that is close to my heart: self esteem. You might be familiar with earlier posts of mine and the poll I created for women. Well this is just a bit of information that made me sad so I thought I would share. This post might be considered NSFW but I really believe it is just PG-13. Still to protect myself and the innocent, the language below is explicit.

A Few Vaginal Facts

  • Only one in 10 women think that there is no shame in having discussions about the female genitals.
  • Up to 89% of women do not think their genitals are attractive, sexy or beautiful.
  • Almost half of women (47%) believe the vagina is the body part they know least about.
  • More than half (57%) of women think their genitalia is an improper size.
  • Only half of women have ever performed a self-exam of their genitals, and one-quarter (24%) has not looked at her vulva in a year or longer
  • Women perceive their genitals very differently than their spouse/partner perceives their genitals.
  • Since 2005, Google has reported a “Breakout” increase (more than 5000%) for numerous search terms and phrases related to female genital cosmetic surgery, including “labia surgery”, “labiaplasty”, vaginal rejuvenation”, “vagina surgery cost”, and many more. Note that each search independently increased by more than 5000%.
  • Since 2005, Google has reported a “Breakout” increase for numerous searches related to the notion of a “normal” vulva, including “normal labia minora”, “normal labia pictures”, “normal labia size”, “normal vulva”, and many more. Note that each search independently rose by more than 5000%.
  • In 2008 the medical group Surgicare (UK) saw a threefold increase in labiaplasty over the previous year, and inquiries rose seven fold in three years. Most women asking for the surgery were in their late teens or early 20s, though as young as 10 or 11. In almost all cases, requests came from women with completely healthy vulvas, but seeking more attractive genitals.
  • Women’s genital perceptions are significantly related to their gynecological care perceptions and intentions. (In other words, if a woman has negative perceptions about her genitals she is less likely to seek gynecological care.)
  • Among the top five questions asked to some popular sex educators is “Is my vagina normal?”

I am a very odd person. In a sea of men I would stick out like a sore thumb. I prefer natural to fake in almost everything. From food to breasts. From natural to make-up. I prefer a woman who inner beauty makes her beautiful outwardly because the inner beauty seeps out of the pores and demands people notice her outward loveliness. There are plenty of “attractive women” who have the personality of a bucking bronco and that makes them so ugly on the outside. Why do we let other people dictate to our sons and daughters how someone is supposed to look? Who died and made Hollywood, Vogue or Playboy the boss of femininity? It is passed time that we teach our children respect for themselves and respect for others again.

It’s way passed time to let them know that the color of their skin, the amount of money in their wallets, the clothes that they where or the house they live in is in now way any indication of their self worth. Every single person on this planet is special and unique and there will never be another soul like them. Everyone deserves the same amount of respect and love that the ‘pretty people’ or the ‘rich people’ or the people who don’t wear hoodies deserve. No one is better than anyone else. No not one.

Teach your friends and family. Your sons and your daughters that the way God made them is sufficient and approval from any other person is not required here. And ladies, if you want a true perspective on how your genitalia, ask any man how he feels about the subject. I guarantee he will tell you that the way God made a woman is one of the most beautiful sights to behold. Snow capped mountains, the arms of the Milky Way on a cool Winter night, the birth of a child, fresh snow fall that nobody has walked on, the crashing surf on an island paradise, and female genitalia are beautiful sights to behold.

Everybody wants to preach acceptance and tolerance of this thing and that thing. If you want to teach tolerance, it should begin at home with yourself. Learn to accept who you are first and it will be easier to accept others just the way they are.

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  1. #1 by lindysusie on August 21, 2015 - 2:13 AM

    I love my pussy..it gives me feelings that are so awesome especially when I’m with the right man!! I was taught u take good care of your pussy it Will take care of U and Ohhh has it ever!!

  2. #2 by AnonymousBurn on March 27, 2012 - 11:42 AM

    I dated a guy once who I fondly remember as the Blackhole of Happiness and that guy told me that the reason our sex-life was bad was because my vagina wasn’t normal. He pardoned me and told me it was okay and that he couldn’t expect me to be perfect so he’d overlook it. Well, my nethers are totally normal. That guy was so miserable with himself that he only felt better when he was making me doubt myself. Took me 2 years to realize it and the 26 before that to figure out that I am great. Thanks for this post. It reminds me and makes me proud to know that – I know what I am and what I have to offer.

    • #3 by Tom Baker on March 27, 2012 - 11:53 AM

      There are a lot of people who speak long before they really have anything relevant to say. I’m sure he had some sort of hurt to make him the way he is today. You are great!

  3. #4 by Sarah Harris on March 26, 2012 - 2:07 AM

    Thank you for this post and the male perspective! I know most women have something about themselves that they want to change, but most men, if they are lucky enough to be in the room with one of these undressed women, would just be grateful! The other thing is, don’t change stuff when you’re so young! I used to hate my nose until I realized the beauty in my eyes that surround it and the beauty of the person wearing it and now I’m glad I never got plastic surgery on it. Good for you for getting the conversations started!

    • #5 by Tom Baker on March 27, 2012 - 12:48 PM

      Sarah, thank you for your perspective and I could spend a month or two getting conversations started on subjects like these. It’s never too late to learn to love things about yourself.

  4. #6 by R. E. Hunter on March 25, 2012 - 11:14 PM

    I totally agree with you. It’s a sad reflection of the society we live in.

    • #7 by Tom Baker on March 27, 2012 - 12:46 PM

      Thank you. I like to be agreed with!

  5. #8 by Cherlyn on March 25, 2012 - 8:09 PM

    This is a great post Tom – thank you so much for sharing it! I think women should appreciate what they have and love their bodies, especially that area. Thank you again :)

    • #9 by Tom Baker on March 27, 2012 - 12:45 PM

      Especially that area. I agree with you – not only appreciate it but also take care of it.

  6. #11 by savesprinkles1234 on March 25, 2012 - 11:28 AM

    Good post! My oldest daughter and I had a conversation a few months back when she was taking gross anatomy. She was very shocked that a portion of her medical school class knew so little about the female, and male anatomy. She was clued in to this when one of her female classmates, who was assigned a male cadaver, asked for help in finding his clitoris! Another friend in her own anatomy group failed the genital quiz and asked her for help in studying for the retake (He was dead serious and not trying to be pervy!)

    • #12 by Tom Baker on March 27, 2012 - 12:44 PM

      Long time no see/hear from! I’m tickled (some color but not pink) to know you are still around and how nice of you to show up right before another month of blogging honesty. Wanna take part?

      I believe the guy was sincere in his ignorance. So many people are clueless and far too many know too much.

      • #13 by savesprinkles1234 on March 30, 2012 - 9:51 AM

        I believe he was sincere, too! I’ve been reading blogs, but not doing much writing lately. I’ve had terrible writer’s block for the past 8 months, or so, and I’m afraid to commit to the entire month. I may use some of the topics you post and, of course, put your logo up and credit the idea to you, if that’s alright. :)

        • #14 by Tom Baker on March 30, 2012 - 10:08 AM

          I really enjoyed your responses from last year and you know I like your blog as well so of course I will take what I can get. I hope you soon get inspired. Looking forward to this year’s honesty.

  7. #15 by meganstephenson on March 25, 2012 - 5:37 AM

    I don’t find shame in talking about anything, I do notice that other women look at me strange when I openly talk about sexual things. “respect for themselves” we don’t teach children this anymore, I am only 18 but nobody ever said to us a school, you are all different but that is beautiful. I totally agree with your last sentence, if you do not accept yourself you will never accept others.

    • #16 by Tom Baker on March 27, 2012 - 12:42 PM

      Megan, I don’t think it is the position or even the right of the school to do this. “Self” esteem is for parents to teach and in the womb, talking to your baby isn’t too soon in my book.

  8. #17 by ladywithatruck on March 25, 2012 - 2:43 AM

    Hear ye hear ye!! I agree 5000% why on earth would an 11 year old child want surgery on her genitals? That is sad. Its getting to the point where just being a “normal natural” human being isn’t attractive. What with boob jobs, liposuction, veneers, etc etc who can afford all this surgery?

    • #18 by Tom Baker on March 27, 2012 - 12:40 PM

      I’m not popular with my male counterparts but I prefer natural. Unless medically necessary, go with what God gave you!

  9. #19 by ambrosiapeyton on March 25, 2012 - 2:05 AM

    These are awful statistics. I know lots of girls who think their vaginas look gross. It not a good thing for 10 and 11 yo to think so poorly of their self image. Great post Tom.

    • #20 by Tom Baker on March 27, 2012 - 12:39 PM

      I think most men will tell you there is no such thing as a gross vagina.

  10. #21 by Off the Wall on March 25, 2012 - 12:26 AM

    You are so right. I am the epitome of the “good Catholic girl” who was taught that sex was dirty, boys were devils, always wear underwear, and black patent leather shoes really do reflect up!

    Obviously at some point (in my 30’s maybe?) I figured it out for myself. Thank you for enlightening me and other women to the way a REAL man thinks.

    • #22 by Tom Baker on March 27, 2012 - 12:38 PM

      The important thing is you have a better understanding since you figured it all out.

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