Archive for category Kissing Is Better Than Sex
K I S S E R S W A N T E D:
Kissers Wanted. No experience necessary. Opportunities open to females only. Training proves many fringe benefits. Information from me, Tom, a registered philematologist.
Due to the comments and many emails from the Kissing Is Better Than Sex and The Tongues I Have Known And Loved posts I decided to do another post about kissing. I consider myself an expert on the subject and will try to articulate the nuances of great kissing.
Being a good kisser is a matter of patience and practice unless you just take to it the way birds do to flying. Is giving lessons really permitted? In this day and age is it safe? Can you really instruct someone in the culinary art of kissing without actually pressing lips and tongues together?
Teenage life of just kissing and petting was fantastic. Not everyone was interested in having sex and some people really did want to wait. Back fifteen years when I was growing up there were even teenage virgins. Shocking I know.
If we can recall those wonderful kissing sessions we used to have, without the mental clutter of the conquest we can take the first step to being great at the art of kissing. And making kissing a priority in our relationships. The good morning kiss and the ever popular goodbye kiss. Just as the painter needs his easel and canvas before he can start painting, the kisser needs their tools too – a mind free teenage clutter; of hoping to get into someone’s underwear and just concentrating on the here and now, as well as a clean mouth.
What I mean when I say teenage clutter is the garbage that kissing is the first stop on getting a home run or having sex. Kissing doesn’t have to be first base. Kissing doesn’t have to lead to something else or something better. Males and females alike have this mentality. Kissing is great all by itself.
What right do I have giving advice on kissing? Kissing is just like any other activity. Practice, practice and more practice will make you good at it. And admittedly, I have had enough practice to be qualified on the subject. A beautiful woman or a handsome guy that might like you is no insurance that that person is a good kisser and you might need to teach them yourself. On the other hand, if you are a good kisser, you might unknowingly, make the other person think they are a good kisser too because he/she is enjoying the kiss. In reality the complete opposite might be true.
A great teacher can teach without making their student know that they are doing something wrong.
Tips On Being A Great Kisser
1. First, come over to my house for personal instruction. Proceed to step 2- if unable to follow with step one. (April just punched me).
2. Try to always have clean breath. Flossing and brushing the teeth and tongue go a long way to keeping your breath clean all day long.
3. Be subtle but honest when approaching a bad kisser. Make them feel bad or too self conscious and they may shy away or feel that they are such a bad kisser that there might not be any help for them.
4. Keep your kissee guessing. Repeating the same motion without any variation makes your partner feel like they are kissing a robot. Use your tongue in creative ways.
5. Break up the tongue kissing with playful lip tugging or light biting of the upper or bottom lip.
6. Hold their face in your hands and kiss the forehead, the temples, cheeks, nose and prceed to the neck. Both men and women find that their neck is an erogenous area. A nibble on the ear lobe can be sensual as well.
7. Some people like to have their kisser’s tongue in their ears. Some don’t. You should ask before diving in and you should make sure they keep their ears free of wax. It doesn’t taste very good and when you return to the mouth they will be able to taste it too. (I’ve heard some people don’t mind the taste).
8. Touching and rubbing while kissing is essential. Leave the genitals and breasts alone. This is not about sex!
9. Concentrate on how you feel about the person you are kissing. Kissing can be so very personal and with your mind on her and her mind on you, the sky is the limit.
10. Try new things with the understanding that he/she will tell you if they like it or not and when and if to stop. For an example, I once kisses a girl who was so rough that she would suck on my tongue so hard that I thought the skin that keeps your tongue attached to the bottom of my mouth was going to tear. At one point more of my tongue was in her mouth than in mine. My tongue was sore for three days!
11. Kisses should never be too wet. Remember kissing should be enjoyable and not a survival lesson in drowning. Kissing produces a lot of saliva and you need to swallow frequently. I have found that lots of people don’t. I have over the years found a way to swallow my saliva and remove their saliva from their mouth as well without their knowledge.
12. Breathing can get very heavy because kissing is very erotic and you will find yourself extremely turned on. If you are worried that your hot breath from your nose might be bothering your partner, ask. I myself, find that feeling her breath, and listening to her breath, gets me even more excited.
13. Kissing is sufficient all by itself, however, kissing can also be the only foreplay needed before sex. A great kissing session will/can get your female partner significantly lubricated and ready for intercourse. I submit to you that as a man, if you can stand it, leave her wanting more and resist the temptation to have sex with your lady. She will look forward to your next kissing session with bated breath.
14. Go for it!!!!
Whether you are new to kissing or if you are a couple that has been married for years, you will find following these tips can add spice to your romantic life and you need not think kissing will lead to sex. Kissing alone is sexy enough!
Whao! Before you hunt me down and correct me, this is just my opinion. You are entitled to yours and you may or may not agree with me. If chocolate can be better than sex for some women, why can’t kissing be better than sex for me? I am not a virgin. I enjoy(ed) sex very much. This is just how I feel.
Most everything in life can be a matter of personal preference and I have enjoyed sexual activity very much. (when I was sexually active). I enjoyed the intimacy but I feel more connected to a person when kissing them. I feel as though our minds are touching as our tongues dance and caress one another. Much like bodies during intercourse make others feel intimate.
If you are with someone who is a great kisser it does make the experience even more of a turn on, but for me, a bad french kiss is better than bad intercourse. And as a man wanting to please my girl, I always feel a twinge of pressure to perform. I feel sometimes like it’s work. I’m working at making sure I please her. I don’t feel that way with kissing. The pressure is not there. Of course your perspective might be that of a woman and her man so you might not see it how I do.
Thankfully I have a woman who loves to kiss as much if not more than I. She lights candles, we give each other massages and spend hours kissing. Sometime we kiss each other head to toe without any inclination toward sexual activity. If our relationship doesn’t work out, I don’t think I could find someone who loves to kiss as much as she does.
Kissing is also great because should you desire it can lead into sex. Kissing sets the mood. Kissing by itself can be all the foreplay you need. Sex does not set the mood for kissing though. Kissing can be a little naughty as well and make you both feel like you are teenagers again and getting away with something your parents know nothing about.
Kissing takes things to “a whole nother lebel”, so to speak. Imagine if you will, your breath on her cheek and hers on yours. Lips, tongues, noses, hands exploring… The closer the two of you get the more in tune you are. My mind is always on April when we are kissing. When she is this close to me I can almost taste her thoughts as we explore each others mouths.
Kissing sessions give us a soul connection that sex doesn’t for me. She always says she feels so connected and as one during love making, but what she feels so intensely making love, I feel the same while kissing. Have you seen Pretty Woman with Julia Roberts and Richard Gere? If not, she plays a prostitute. Some of the prostitutes were talking and the jist of the conversation was that even with all the different things a prostitute has to do, they never kiss a john on the mouth. “It’s too personal”, one of them said.
Kissing is definitely more intimate and personal. Kissing is publicly acceptable therefore when the spirit hit, do the deed. A peck on the cheek, forehead, top of the hand, or lips. It doesn’t matter. Kiss away. Kissing also allows for impulsive and spontaneous behavior. You can kiss in front of your parents, your kids, even your minister should you feel the urge.
Too often couples forget what it was that helped fuel their attraction for one another in the first place and they stop kissing. That’s too bad. I can see forgetting to hold hands, but not kissing could signal, well, the kiss of death for the relationship.
Some time in the near future, take your boyfriend or girlfriend, your husband or wife and set aside some you time. It doesn’t matter if you’re 21 or 101. Set the mood with their favorite music, scented candles, and a glass of wine. Make a conscious decision that there will be no sex. It’s just a make-out session. Lose yourself in your mate, Savor the taste of their mouth, the warmth, the feel of their tongue against yours. From the silky soft bottom to the bumpy taste bud covered surface. Concentrate on them. I guarantee you, you will be able to connect in a way where you think you can read their mind. Remember the cheeks, neck and ears. These are erogenous areas we tend to forget.