Archive for category Women’s Issues

All In Good Time: Living The Single Life

All In Good Time
this is dedicated to a few friends of mine. after reading this they should know who they are
For A Must Hear Song Head Over To YouTube and If You Would Like It, Let Me Know

A few friends are struggling. Perhaps more than I know because not everyone confides in me. They are struggling and suffering. Suffering from the Being Single Syndrome. While not everyone manifests the exact same symptoms in the same way, it has become obvious to me that these young ladies share this affliction. I like to preface any post I do like this (one that involves dispensing ‘help’ or ‘advice’ by saying I am not an expert in any field of study. I’m just a caring individual who knows a little bit about human nature.

You are free to do with it as you please. Sometimes we get impatient. We lose sight of the goal because of all the obstacles in our way. The obstacles that I am talking about are the boys and men that don’t live up to your standards. The ones who don’t measure up. The ones who have a nice body with little or nothing between their ears. The ones who have little or nothing to offer except what is dangling between their legs. The ones without a job but more than willing to let you pay for everything. The ones who are only using you. The ones who are married. The ones who want to bed you and leave you. The ones who are not looking for a serious relationship. The ones with no ambition past sundown. The ones, ad nauseam…

I understand ladies. You are lonely and what’s worse, alone. You are sick and tired of being sick and tired and by yourself. So you settle for anything the cat drags in. Perhaps a half eaten mouse or the neighborhood rat. You know that guy who cares less about you than he does himself. Sometimes when dealing with matters of the heart we do what the heart tell us to do and completely ignore what our brains are telling us. I’ve been there. I’ve made mistakes by following my heart.

How can you help it though? The need, the longing and desire to be loved and to give love is so strong. The need to be held and hear someone (sometimes anyone) tell us we are special even if they don’t believe it themselves is real. They say it because maybe there is a sexual reward on the other end of that compliment. In this modern world we are not taught to wait for good things. We have microwaves, cell phones, almost everything we need at any given time is right at our fingertips. Why then should you wait for the man of your dreams?

Because he exists. He is out there waiting for you but if you are out messing with some knucklehead, you might just miss him. You sweetheart are special. There is no other like you anywhere. If it means waiting patiently until you find the man who lives up to your standards, then wait. All I wanted to do with this post is beg those who the post is directed to, to know that often following your heart is the worst advice anyone could ever give you. Along with our need to be loved is our selfish hedonistic side. The side that wants pleasure now and instant gratification. When you are lonely and the prospect of being with someone comes into play, the heart can be very selfish and will at any opportunity embrace comfort and companionship regardless of how, with whom or when.

To make wise choices you need to access the gray matter. You need advice from people willing to tell you the truth because it is what you need to hear and not what you want to hear. We have a tendency to seek advice from those we know will be on our side. We tend to ignore the wisdom of parents for people our own age who have the same if not more problems than we do.

Don’t waste your time on someone who is not worthy of your time, effort or love. I don’t want to see you taken advantage of or made a fool. You are special beyond words. You are a queen in need of a king. Don’t settle for anything less than royalty. You are too special to me (even if you are reading this and don’t know me), for me not to have taken the effort to write this. You don’t have to act upon this post but after today, it is all on you. The knowledge is in you because you took the time to read this. Embrace or ignore. Either way all will be reveled, all in good time.

poem credit to Roshni Jacob
Coincidentally Roshni will be the featured poetess for the July Poetic License

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My Vagina Dialogue

I thought long and hard before deciding to go ahead with this post. Most of my followers are women. They follow because they must like in some way, what they read. All of the women who follow this blog have a vagina so I really shouldn’t be so worried about what people think. For those it offends, they might not read it, to those who read it, I hope you learn something.

This post is more a reaction from me to a subject that is close to my heart: self esteem. You might be familiar with earlier posts of mine and the poll I created for women. Well this is just a bit of information that made me sad so I thought I would share. This post might be considered NSFW but I really believe it is just PG-13. Still to protect myself and the innocent, the language below is explicit.

A Few Vaginal Facts

  • Only one in 10 women think that there is no shame in having discussions about the female genitals.
  • Up to 89% of women do not think their genitals are attractive, sexy or beautiful.
  • Almost half of women (47%) believe the vagina is the body part they know least about.
  • More than half (57%) of women think their genitalia is an improper size.
  • Only half of women have ever performed a self-exam of their genitals, and one-quarter (24%) has not looked at her vulva in a year or longer
  • Women perceive their genitals very differently than their spouse/partner perceives their genitals.
  • Since 2005, Google has reported a “Breakout” increase (more than 5000%) for numerous search terms and phrases related to female genital cosmetic surgery, including “labia surgery”, “labiaplasty”, vaginal rejuvenation”, “vagina surgery cost”, and many more. Note that each search independently increased by more than 5000%.
  • Since 2005, Google has reported a “Breakout” increase for numerous searches related to the notion of a “normal” vulva, including “normal labia minora”, “normal labia pictures”, “normal labia size”, “normal vulva”, and many more. Note that each search independently rose by more than 5000%.
  • In 2008 the medical group Surgicare (UK) saw a threefold increase in labiaplasty over the previous year, and inquiries rose seven fold in three years. Most women asking for the surgery were in their late teens or early 20s, though as young as 10 or 11. In almost all cases, requests came from women with completely healthy vulvas, but seeking more attractive genitals.
  • Women’s genital perceptions are significantly related to their gynecological care perceptions and intentions. (In other words, if a woman has negative perceptions about her genitals she is less likely to seek gynecological care.)
  • Among the top five questions asked to some popular sex educators is “Is my vagina normal?”

I am a very odd person. In a sea of men I would stick out like a sore thumb. I prefer natural to fake in almost everything. From food to breasts. From natural to make-up. I prefer a woman who inner beauty makes her beautiful outwardly because the inner beauty seeps out of the pores and demands people notice her outward loveliness. There are plenty of “attractive women” who have the personality of a bucking bronco and that makes them so ugly on the outside. Why do we let other people dictate to our sons and daughters how someone is supposed to look? Who died and made Hollywood, Vogue or Playboy the boss of femininity? It is passed time that we teach our children respect for themselves and respect for others again.

It’s way passed time to let them know that the color of their skin, the amount of money in their wallets, the clothes that they where or the house they live in is in now way any indication of their self worth. Every single person on this planet is special and unique and there will never be another soul like them. Everyone deserves the same amount of respect and love that the ‘pretty people’ or the ‘rich people’ or the people who don’t wear hoodies deserve. No one is better than anyone else. No not one.

Teach your friends and family. Your sons and your daughters that the way God made them is sufficient and approval from any other person is not required here. And ladies, if you want a true perspective on how your genitalia, ask any man how he feels about the subject. I guarantee he will tell you that the way God made a woman is one of the most beautiful sights to behold. Snow capped mountains, the arms of the Milky Way on a cool Winter night, the birth of a child, fresh snow fall that nobody has walked on, the crashing surf on an island paradise, and female genitalia are beautiful sights to behold.

Everybody wants to preach acceptance and tolerance of this thing and that thing. If you want to teach tolerance, it should begin at home with yourself. Learn to accept who you are first and it will be easier to accept others just the way they are.

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Ashley Barela Asks Barbie, Where Are Your Nipples?

NSFW: Language

Ashley Barela asks:

What about your pubic hair, that beautiful bush? What about the follicles on your arms, your legs, your lower back like they were part of you? Do you ever have a pimple? Do you know what it’s like to feel menstrual pains? I’m sorry you’ve been stripped of all that is rightfully yours. Perhaps you’ll never know what you’re missing out on, for playing you for silly putty, you’re formed into an unrecognizable female in the boots (and high heels, and running shoes, and fashion feet) of pre-teen girls desperately trying to be women.

(If you were to speak, what would you say? Would you say something like, “I didn’t want it this way.” Would you cry out in pain or in sorrow, or grief? I’d like to know why you’re the victim of thieves.)

How many times have you been subjected to a new plastic surgeon? Do you even like to go to the beach? What about the market? Do you like carrying dogs around in little plastic purses? I wonder what your favourite (I mean, really, your favourite) place to eat would have been. I mean, you’re supposed to be me, aren’t you? Do you like the same bed sheets that I like? You’ve never touched a razor in your life and before I was old enough to have breasts like yours (minus the nipples of course), I had to learn how to shave my own legs. Barbie, you didn’t teach me about my vagina or masturbation. Your body showed no sign of a clit. What was that tiny pea-sized button of mine that I knew you didn’t have? Do you feel the same things as I do? Do you want to?

I know you want to. I’m sorry you’ve been stripped of all that is rightfully yours. I’m sorry you were based off of a German sex toy for men. I’m sorry your main owners are pre-teen girls looking to be as perfectly in proportion as you claim to be, when really, you’re anything but. I’m sorry, that before you became a goddess replacing original ideas, you were probably a someone just like me, with a bush and leg hair, a clit and a heart.

I know you’re begging for them and I promise, I will meet your maker and ask him why he didn’t give you nipples.

Repost with permission from December 12, 2011

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