Posts Tagged Relationships

All In Good Time: Living The Single Life

All In Good Time
this is dedicated to a few friends of mine. after reading this they should know who they are
For A Must Hear Song Head Over To YouTube and If You Would Like It, Let Me Know

A few friends are struggling. Perhaps more than I know because not everyone confides in me. They are struggling and suffering. Suffering from the Being Single Syndrome. While not everyone manifests the exact same symptoms in the same way, it has become obvious to me that these young ladies share this affliction. I like to preface any post I do like this (one that involves dispensing ‘help’ or ‘advice’ by saying I am not an expert in any field of study. I’m just a caring individual who knows a little bit about human nature.

You are free to do with it as you please. Sometimes we get impatient. We lose sight of the goal because of all the obstacles in our way. The obstacles that I am talking about are the boys and men that don’t live up to your standards. The ones who don’t measure up. The ones who have a nice body with little or nothing between their ears. The ones who have little or nothing to offer except what is dangling between their legs. The ones without a job but more than willing to let you pay for everything. The ones who are only using you. The ones who are married. The ones who want to bed you and leave you. The ones who are not looking for a serious relationship. The ones with no ambition past sundown. The ones, ad nauseam…

I understand ladies. You are lonely and what’s worse, alone. You are sick and tired of being sick and tired and by yourself. So you settle for anything the cat drags in. Perhaps a half eaten mouse or the neighborhood rat. You know that guy who cares less about you than he does himself. Sometimes when dealing with matters of the heart we do what the heart tell us to do and completely ignore what our brains are telling us. I’ve been there. I’ve made mistakes by following my heart.

How can you help it though? The need, the longing and desire to be loved and to give love is so strong. The need to be held and hear someone (sometimes anyone) tell us we are special even if they don’t believe it themselves is real. They say it because maybe there is a sexual reward on the other end of that compliment. In this modern world we are not taught to wait for good things. We have microwaves, cell phones, almost everything we need at any given time is right at our fingertips. Why then should you wait for the man of your dreams?

Because he exists. He is out there waiting for you but if you are out messing with some knucklehead, you might just miss him. You sweetheart are special. There is no other like you anywhere. If it means waiting patiently until you find the man who lives up to your standards, then wait. All I wanted to do with this post is beg those who the post is directed to, to know that often following your heart is the worst advice anyone could ever give you. Along with our need to be loved is our selfish hedonistic side. The side that wants pleasure now and instant gratification. When you are lonely and the prospect of being with someone comes into play, the heart can be very selfish and will at any opportunity embrace comfort and companionship regardless of how, with whom or when.

To make wise choices you need to access the gray matter. You need advice from people willing to tell you the truth because it is what you need to hear and not what you want to hear. We have a tendency to seek advice from those we know will be on our side. We tend to ignore the wisdom of parents for people our own age who have the same if not more problems than we do.

Don’t waste your time on someone who is not worthy of your time, effort or love. I don’t want to see you taken advantage of or made a fool. You are special beyond words. You are a queen in need of a king. Don’t settle for anything less than royalty. You are too special to me (even if you are reading this and don’t know me), for me not to have taken the effort to write this. You don’t have to act upon this post but after today, it is all on you. The knowledge is in you because you took the time to read this. Embrace or ignore. Either way all will be reveled, all in good time.

poem credit to Roshni Jacob
Coincidentally Roshni will be the featured poetess for the July Poetic License

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30 Days Of Blogging Honesty: Day 7 [Replacement Question]

I went to see a psychic, and was given the opportunity to ask three questions – I would ask…
Well folks, I do not believe in psychic abilities so I am going to switch this question out with the replacement question.

Your daughter tells you she is bringing home her boyfriend for dinner. When they arrive, she introduces you to a man who is not your same race. Sometime during dinner she announces that they have been married for the last six months. What bothers you more? The difference in race or being excluded from the wedding…

It should be more than obvious to anyone who has read this blog for even just a week that I am in no way discriminatory or prejudice. The only thing that would bother me is the deception I would feel perpetrated upon my wife and I. Knowing that an interracial marriage would not bother me, I would need to know why they felt the need to hide their relationship.

As the father of the bride I have to be smiling inside along with my bank account knowing that we dodged a huge bullet! My daughter has escaped the stress and headaches associated with planning a wedding and all of the would be assembled guests do not have to spend money on gifts.

Any money set aside for a wedding for my daughter can now be directed towards helping them with a house or saving for any future grandkid’s education.

In short, I ain’t mad at them!

The Definitive Participant List

Cherlyn Cochrane, Jenn MikoLJ, Melanie, Last Civilized Woman, Princesa Musang, Primadonna Zel, Caroline, Koi, Aurathena, Terriblethinker, Sleep and Salami, Marliz3e, Prysmatique, DLonelyStarAnonymousBurn, Nicole, Sylvia Garza, Mariana, Nenskei, MyNakedBokkie, Bluefiadiarries, VeehCirra, Bannatreasures, Sajeev, HappyhippieroseTheFerkel, Tom Baker, *Sofia, *Everything Love & Lust, *TemptingSweets99, Sites with an * contain NSFW material. If erotic or sexual material is offensive to you, please do not visit these three blogs.

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30 Days Of Blogging Honesty: Day 3

Regardless of my current status, do I believe a person should save themself for marriage…

I do now. I did not always think this way and I certainly did not wait until marriage but I really believe it would be a nice thing to experience for the new bride and groom. I hear often the argument that you need to know beforehand if the two of you are compatible. I think that a marriage is the biggest job you will ever have in life. It is a job. It is work! Just like any other aspect of married life, there is give and take. There are introverts married to extroverts. Meatatarians married to vegetarians. People with a low libido married to nymphomaniacs.

It’s all give and take. It’s all compromise. If you love your spouse you are going to want to please them in any way you can. If you love your spouse you are going to have to go out of your comfort zone on occasion and perform a sexual act you might not find enjoyable at first. Perhaps you will later. I don’t see anything wrong with saving yourself for marriage other than it being so hard to do, especially today. I truly am trying to live my life by the Bible so yes, I believe in waiting.

I also want to let everyone know that although I did not comment on most of your posts yesterday, I did read them. I did not want to disagree with your answers and I did not want to express my opinion because I believe my post today explains better to you, how I would have responded if I had commented on your post. I did not in anyway want to sound like a parent or a preacher/teacher. Everyone’s feelings and opinions are welcome at this 30 day honesty table and I did not want to come off as if I was being judgmental. Even though I would not have meant it to be, for fear of it coming across that way, I did not comment on most posts yesterday. No hard feelings I hope (paronomasia most definitely intended)!

Here is the most up to date listing of everyone participating:
Cherlyn Cochrane, Aurathena, TheFerkel, Prysmatique, AnonymousBurn, Caroline, Koi, Sylvia Garza, Mariana, Everything L&L, Nenskei, MyNakedBokkie, Bluefiadiarries, VeehCirra, Princesa Musang, DLonelyStar, TemptingSweets99, LJ, Terriblethinker, Marliz3e, Sleep and Salami, Primadonna Zel, Sofia, Happyhippierose, Melanie and Sajeev.

***There are three bloggers taking part in the 30 Days of Blogging Honesty that consider their blogs NSFW (TemptingSweets99, Everything Love & Lust and Sofia). Visit at your own discretion. If erotic or sexual material are not offensive to you, please do visit and comment.

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