Posts Tagged Respect

The Most Beautiful Girl In The World

This post was inspired by a poem I read called Cannot Fly. When I read the poem I started thinking about how much pain and sorrow there is in the world and how we usually try to box ourselves into our comfy little world and think everything else is fine. Well when even one person is hurting, everything else is not fine. Sometimes we box our self into a very uncomfortable world.

I have been very fortunate to know lots of girls/women in my life. Some were short, some were tall. Some were rich and some poor. Some were very smart and some not so much. Some were thin and some were heavy. They were Black and White, Yellow, Brown and Red. Despite their differences they most likely had one thing in common; unhappiness or a lack of self esteem that they hid from all but a few. Some of these girls were burdened with carrying a heavy load and left unchecked turn into baggage that gets carried around and infests every aspect of their lives, but especially in their marriages.

I sit here writing this post because I deeply care. I genuinely care about people. People I know and those I don’t and here on this blog where I am ‘kind of” getting to know people. I am not a Mother Teresa, a Martin Luther King or someone like that but I do sympathize and can empathize with a lot of people in their different situations.

Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. I have met some truly lovely, gorgeous, sexy women and some of them actually believe they are ugly. In their eyes they are and nobody can convince them differently. Why is that? The only truly ugly women that I know are only ugly because of their personality. They are mean, abrasive, brassy, know-it-all, think too highly of them self women. And who knows why they act the way they do, but they are not ugly looking. Simply ugly acting.

I have met women who have been molested or raped and some, most often by relatives. Some times it was over the course of years and for some just a one time torment. Regardless, they are survivors! Some things are not meant for children and sex is one of them. It’s not meant for children with other children and definitely not meant for children with adults. I’m not a religious person but I am beginning to understand the logic behind God’s demand for Christians to wait until marriage and then only between their own spouse. On a side note, ever since April (my wife) was ill for so long, I have begun looking into learning more about God.

Speaking with my sister Terri, I learned that so many females struggle not only with the way they look, but their weight specifically. Of course that might seem obvious to most people but I didn’t know to what extent. I was shocked to learn that it was common practice for her and her friends to take diet pills on a regular basis to curb their appetites. We are talking about girls who are either by government standards are the right weight for their height or who even weigh less than they should. My sister’s friends had no reason to take diet pills. But it was their perception that mattered, not the truth.

There are girls who are anorexic, or obese and over weight. Food is both friend and enemy. For some being overweight is just a fact of life and should they decided they want to lose weight, they could. For others food is a drug like alcohol and is used to comfort them or help them escape some deeper issue. Hollywood and Wall Street make things even more difficult by only showing one type of female. Young rich and thin. That is not reality…

Forgive me please. I could go on with much much more, but the longer a post is, the less likely it will get read in it’s entirety. I’m pretty sure you know every kind of girl mentioned in this post and for every one you know, there are those that behind closed doors suffer as well and you would never know. Love heals a multitude of problems. Find somebody you love and get to know them better. Talk with someone you don’t know (safely), and get to know them. Peel back the layers of people’s lives. Get to really know someone. Get them to open up. Open yourself up to someone. Get down and dirty. Dig into the dirt of peoples lives. Make them open up. You just might save a life.

I don’t mean that someone is thinking of committing suicide. I mean that there are people walking around everyday that are dead inside. They feel they have nothing to live for. They live destructive lives and pass that destructive behavior onto their daughters. It becomes a vicious cycle. Women are grandmothers in their twenties because their daughter who they had when they were a teenager, had a baby in her teens. Sometimes the cycle may never be broken. Sometimes it won’t be broken because you did nothing…

Ladies, life is too short. Girls are hurting and they are the backbone of society. They are the ones who will be raising the men of society. They are the ones marrying the men of our society. It is of the utmost importance to have the women of a society as mentally and physically healthy as possible.

Men. Love your daughters. Love your girlfriends or your wives. Love your sisters and most importantly your mothers. If you don’t have one or any of those find someone elses and show love to them (NOT SOMEONE ELSE’S WIFE). Don’t tell someone I told you to go have an affair with somebody’s wife. That is not what I am saying. And it may seem corny or simplistic to you or even for you, out of character; but love really is the answer.

A pretty woman or a cute girl can turn my head sometimes but a woman with true inner beauty can turn my heart every time.
~ Tom Baker

Why did I choose Prince’s The Most Beautiful Girl In The World? I recall watching the video and women of every background and shape were a part of the video. Prince is known for having the likes of Sheila E., Apollonia and Vanity hanging onto him. I wasn’t even aware that someone like Prince knew that women came in all shapes and sizes. He impressed me and I had a new found respect for the man and not just the musician. Every woman can be beautiful but it is the inward beauty that is most important. Their outward appearance is less important. It’s like the crust that kids peel off their slice of bread to get to the good part.

Fellows, let every woman you encounter be your favorite work of art. Women. Learn to love yourself and watch your world and the whole world change.

The woman who wrote the poem is Cherlyn (that’s C-h-e-r-l-y-n) Cochrane. You can find out more about Cherlyn by visiting her blog, Over A Cup Of Coffee and coming back here on September 4, 2010 as she will be the guest blogger.

Of course this post is just as apropos for males as it is for females. I don’t want to exclude the problems men face although nobody made a song for men like Prince did for women. Could you be the most beautiful girl in the world? Ladies you already are!

Photo Credit: Natalia Łowicka, Poem Credit: Cherlyn Cochrane

Please share this with someone, anyone. I don’t usually beg, however if you think someone might benefit from the reading of this post, I beg you to share it on any social network you are a part of. Please comment as well, positive or negative. Thanks for reading.


Some content on this page was disabled on November 7, 2016 as a result of a DMCA takedown notice from Natalia Łowicka. You can learn more about the DMCA here:

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“Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.
~Albert Einstein

Used to be a time when the phrase, ‘just being neighborly’ was the norm. It was believed that it took a village to raise a child, but these days of selfishness and disrespect make even the idea of being civil to another human, foreign. I do not subscribe to the notion that people are basically good. Rather I believe people are largely motivated to do good or bad, right or wrong based on their own motives.

Why do we do good? Maybe doing good makes us feel good inside. It gives us a sense of pride or perhaps just a ‘good feeling’ inside. Is that so wrong? No. People do wrong for the same reasons. It makes them feel good. In a society that no longer teaches their children to respect others and as important, themselves; what else would one expect? Most of what we do through life is self-ish. From eating, to bathing, to making friends.

We have friends because of our own need to be not alone. Again, nothing is wrong with that. However, I think the time has come again to do for others the same we would want done for us. Actually it is long overdue. Terms like random acts of kindness or paying it forward only have a place in our vocabulary because we have forgotten to do what is right in the first place.

In today’s economy especially, we should be automatically looking after others in need even if our own need is great. Whether you believe in reaping what you sow or karma, things do have a way of coming full circle. If you do right, right comes back to you.


I am not chastising anyone. The storms that come into our lives can change our course even without us realizing it. It’s not until the end of our journey that we have realized we reached the wrong destination. Additionally, most people don’t announce to the world that they have a need or problem that needs to be met. How can we help someone not asking for it?

Hey, what about doing something for someone, just because? Just because at this time in your life, you can. Save worrying about tomorrow for tomorrow.

Just a few examples:

1. You are at home. You’re feeling lonely. Instead of sitting in front of the television watching the same On Demand show for the third time, make a pot of coffee, grab the donuts and visit the widow down the street feeling lonely too. Even if she’s not lonely, she’d welcome the company and you aren’t lonely anymore either.

2. Male or female, hold the door open for someone. Regardless of their gender holding the door open for another person is just basic courtesy. It’s a small thing to you but it might mean a world of difference to that person.

3. Finally, practice controlling you speech. Your tongue is a weapon and people use it everyday to hurt and even kill others. Since we have no idea what the words coming out of our mouth will affect the person they are directed at, we should always be cognizant of our speech. We can never take back the words we say. Once they are out they are there in the persons mind forever and no apology in the world can make somebody forget the pain your words may have caused them. Consider a cruise ship or an aircraft carrier. Very large ships. Humongous vessels yet the are controlled by a very small rudder. Your tongue is your rudder. Steer clear of hurtful words and speak positively.

One more thing. If a family member needs to borrow some money from you and you are in the financial position to help. Don’t let them borrow it. If they are family just do the right thing and give it to them. No strings attached. If they can pay you back they will. If not, forget about it. Friendships are a different story. Unless you are a bank or you are Bill Gates, I would definitely make it a loan. This again, like this article is just Tom’s opinion.

…Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

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