A few friends are struggling. Perhaps more than I know because not everyone confides in me. They are struggling and suffering. Suffering from the Being Single Syndrome. While not everyone manifests the exact same symptoms in the same way, it has become obvious to me that these young ladies share this affliction. I like to preface any post I do like this (one that involves dispensing ‘help’ or ‘advice’ by saying I am not an expert in any field of study. I’m just a caring individual who knows a little bit about human nature.
You are free to do with it as you please. Sometimes we get impatient. We lose sight of the goal because of all the obstacles in our way. The obstacles that I am talking about are the boys and men that don’t live up to your standards. The ones who don’t measure up. The ones who have a nice body with little or nothing between their ears. The ones who have little or nothing to offer except what is dangling between their legs. The ones without a job but more than willing to let you pay for everything. The ones who are only using you. The ones who are married. The ones who want to bed you and leave you. The ones who are not looking for a serious relationship. The ones with no ambition past sundown. The ones, ad nauseam…
I understand ladies. You are lonely and what’s worse, alone. You are sick and tired of being sick and tired and by yourself. So you settle for anything the cat drags in. Perhaps a half eaten mouse or the neighborhood rat. You know that guy who cares less about you than he does himself. Sometimes when dealing with matters of the heart we do what the heart tell us to do and completely ignore what our brains are telling us. I’ve been there. I’ve made mistakes by following my heart.
How can you help it though? The need, the longing and desire to be loved and to give love is so strong. The need to be held and hear someone (sometimes anyone) tell us we are special even if they don’t believe it themselves is real. They say it because maybe there is a sexual reward on the other end of that compliment. In this modern world we are not taught to wait for good things. We have microwaves, cell phones, almost everything we need at any given time is right at our fingertips. Why then should you wait for the man of your dreams?
Because he exists. He is out there waiting for you but if you are out messing with some knucklehead, you might just miss him. You sweetheart are special. There is no other like you anywhere. If it means waiting patiently until you find the man who lives up to your standards, then wait. All I wanted to do with this post is beg those who the post is directed to, to know that often following your heart is the worst advice anyone could ever give you. Along with our need to be loved is our selfish hedonistic side. The side that wants pleasure now and instant gratification. When you are lonely and the prospect of being with someone comes into play, the heart can be very selfish and will at any opportunity embrace comfort and companionship regardless of how, with whom or when.
To make wise choices you need to access the gray matter. You need advice from people willing to tell you the truth because it is what you need to hear and not what you want to hear. We have a tendency to seek advice from those we know will be on our side. We tend to ignore the wisdom of parents for people our own age who have the same if not more problems than we do.
Don’t waste your time on someone who is not worthy of your time, effort or love. I don’t want to see you taken advantage of or made a fool. You are special beyond words. You are a queen in need of a king. Don’t settle for anything less than royalty. You are too special to me (even if you are reading this and don’t know me), for me not to have taken the effort to write this. You don’t have to act upon this post but after today, it is all on you. The knowledge is in you because you took the time to read this. Embrace or ignore. Either way all will be reveled, all in good time.
poem credit to Roshni Jacob
Coincidentally Roshni will be the featured poetess for the July Poetic License